That's the Way Life Goes
by writer-in-newyork
Summary: My take of late season 11 onward. Derek's accident happened, but Meredith has heard nothing from him. When she can't deal with living alone with their children in the Dream House in the woods, Meredith pulls an Ellis Grey and flees with nothing more than a vague note. Where does she go? Will Derek find his way back to his wife and kids? **Derek is NOT dead**
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: My take of late season 11 onward. Derek's accident happened, but Meredith has heard nothing from him. When she can't deal with living alone with their children in the Dream House in the woods, Meredith pulls an Ellis Grey and flees with nothing more than a vague note. Where does she go? Will Derek find his way back to his wife and kids?**

Five o'clock came and went last week leaving Meredith with nothing more than irrelevant news.

 _We've found your husband's car on some back roads. There was an accident, but at this time we have not recovered a body. Missus Shepherd, we will keep you informed of your husband's status._

That was last week. And that was all Meredith Grey had heard from the police, at least before they notified her that the only thing recovered at the site was Derek's totaled car and cell phone. She had no whereabouts on her husband and the mystery was getting to her. All she wanted to know was if she even still had a husband. Or was she a widow that was left behind with two children? But what if he was alive, where the Hell is Derek?

Alas, mystery grew into worried impatience. Only to change in a matter of hours to worried, impatient, and what can only be described at as joy. She still worried about her husband, and she always will until she hears about him otherwise, but now, a tiny piece of plastic changed her life. Derek had managed to impregnate her once again.

As days passed on, Meredith still heard nothing from or about her husband. By two weeks, she had enough of the sympathetic looks and the daily reminder that she could be raising three kids alone in the huge house in the woods. So she had to go. Anywhere.

But she wanted to stay close in case anything had happened with Derek. Then again, she also planned to leave without telling anyone, not even Alex.

In the middle of the night, Meredith Grey left with her kids, leaving behind the vaguest of notes. She didn't really understand why, but her mind told her to leave to the one place no one would expect Meredith 'Dark and Twisty' Grey to go—sunny Los Angeles. Maybe it was just her mind telling her that she could have one Addison Montgomery as her OBGYN. After all, that baby in her uterus could be the last reminder of Derek, a reminder that she wanted to keep safe, and she would need the help of the ex-She Shepherd.

That was how Meredith Grey landed herself in Los Angeles, California. After the grueling eighteen hour drive, Meredith had checked herself and the kids into a hotel before heading to Seaside Health and Wellness. To say she was nervous would be an understatement. The last time she saw Addison Montgomery was when she came to perform emergency surgery on Callie, but the last time she talked to Addison was years earlier back before just weeks before she and Derek had gotten engaged.

And now she was walking into the practice partially owned by the red head in hopes that Addison would take her on as a patient. When she walked out of the elevator and entered the practice, Meredith noticed a very thin woman standing at the reception desk looking over what seemed to be messages. She slowly approached the desk quickly growing even more nervous than she already was.

"Excuse me?" Was what escaped Meredith's mouth in a polite manner.

The thin woman looked up at Meredith and smiled. "I'm Doctor Turner, can I help you with something?"

Meredith was about to ask for Addison when the read head had appeared herself. "I was looking for Doctor Montgomery," Meredith said, somehow she had earned confidence by the time the neonatal surgeon was at the desk. "Addison, hi," Meredith spoke softly with a small smile on her face.

"Meredith Grey! It has been forever since I saw you." Addison looked down and smiled at the two children who stood by their mother. Bailey was between Meredith and Zola holding on to both of their hands tightly. She was amazed how much the young boy resembled Derek. Before she could ask who they were, though she had already known due to phone calls she had with both Derek and Amelia, Zola stuck her right hand out.

"I'm Zola. This is my baby brother."

Addison smiled and looked at Bailey. "And what's your name, buddy?" A soft whisper of 'Bailey' came out of the boy's mouth. The red head looked back up at Meredith before speaking up again. "What can I help you with, Meredith?" Based on the way the younger woman bit her bottom lip, Addison could tell that it was something important, something she didn't want her kids to know about. "Hey, guys. See over there? Why don't you two go play over there while I talk to your Mommy?" She spotted Jake as she was speaking, "And if you need anything at all, Doctor Reilly is going to be right here, okay?" Both kids nodded before Zola led Bailey over to the corner of the waiting room that held children's toys.

As soon as she saw her kids were settled, Meredith looked at Addison. "I'm pregnant. And I'm going to need your help."

Seeing the serious look of Grey's face, Addison led her to her office. "No Derek?" She was certainly surprised that the neurosurgeon wasn't with Meredith, especially when she came to seek help for their baby.

"I actually don't know where he is. For all I know, he's dead. I haven't heard from him in two weeks. There was an accident and his car was totaled but no Derek anywhere. I fled to LA, Seattle just became too much without him there. Everywhere I went there was a reminder of him, or there were the looks of sympathy on everyone's faces. So, if Derek is dead, I need your help in keeping this baby nice and safe until its ready to be born. Aside from Bailey, this is the last physical reminder I will have of Derek. So, please Addison, please help me. I already lost one baby, was diagnosed with a hostile uterus, and almost lost Bailey..well actually I almost died with Bailey," Meredith had continued rambling much to the amusement of Addison.

"Meredith, I will help you, that I can promise. We'll do our best to keep that baby in there until you're ready to deliver, okay?"

"Thank you."

 **Just the starter, so it's short. Yes, started a new story again, but this idea popped into my head the other night when I couldn't fall asleep. Trying to figure out an update schedule for each of my stories.**


	2. Chapter 2

**So I'm back. I am hoping to get a lot more done of each story before the end of January because that is when I go back to school and have no idea when I'll be able to update. I've been thinking that maybe Fridays will be the scheduled day to update? Not sure yet.**

 **I've just had dental surgery done, so I'm writing in hopes to ignore the lingering pain.**

 **Thank you for the reviews :)**

A month had passed since Meredith had up and left Seattle. No one has heard from her, not even Alex. Sure, they knew she had to be tired of their many failed attempts at contacting her, but they had hoped her annoyance with them would cause her to pick up the phone, or answer one text message, or even email back.

They were going crazy with worry, and not just her friends and sister, but Derek too. He so badly wanted to call Meredith, but he knew that would only freak her out because she thought he was dead. Hell, it freaked everyone else out.

 _It was dark, and he was tired. He hadn't realized it had been a week and a half since that semi hit his car. He knew Meredith must have been going crazy with worry over him. His only problem was that he had no idea where he was. All he could remember was the events before the accident._

 _There was traffic, so he took a short cut he had discovered._

 _Some kid had gone flying past him causing the first accident of the day._

 _He got out of his car to first help the victims of the crash, Winnie and her mother, before moving onto the car that had started the accident. The passenger seemed worse because you could literally see her intestines._

 _Once those involved in the accident were loaded up on the ambulance, Derek went back to his car hoping he would make his flight. But that's when things go worse._

 _He saw the semi coming and scrambled to get out of his car. Unfortunately, he hadn't quite made it and was still stuck in the car when the truck made impact. To his luck though, he was still conscious enough after his 'bump' on the head to get out of the car and check on the driver. He, Derek knew, was a goner. The truck had't started smoking, so he left to get help._

 _That is where Derek Shepherd went wrong. He had made it a few miles before the adrenaline wore off and his injuries started to catch up to him. And he just collapsed._

 _The hospital called him John Doe because he had no identification and how were they to know that his car was the one struck by the semi when he was miles away from the scene? So rather then call his family or next of kin, they only hoped he woke up, and woke up with memories so a name could replace John Doe and they could help the man get back home._

That's exactly what they did, and Derek would forever be grateful. He had ended up at Dillard Medical Center, where he was taken when a driver pulled over and called for help when they saw an unconscious body laying on the ground.

He was unconscious for most of his stay at the hospital, but when he came around, he started to ask for Meredith. A redhead, Doctor Blake, had informed him of his injuries, one being a severe concussion. Luckily there was no brain damage, so Derek could continue on as a world renowned neurosurgeon if he wished. Doctor Blake had helped Derek reach someone that he knew. Meredith wasn't answering her phone, Amelia wasn't answering her phone, no one was answering the phone until he called the number of Chief Webber. His old mentor had come through and came and brought Derek home. He hadn't told Derek about Meredith, and Derek didn't ask. He wanted to surprise her and he knew that Richard would have told everyone that he was fine before Derek had the chance to see his wife.

But he never got to see her. He did, however, give his sister the surprise of her life.

 _He realized after Richard had drove off that he didn't have his keys. No keys meant he wouldn't get into his house. He saw Meredith's car, so he assumed she was home and would be pleased to see him._

 _Not thinking twice, Derek knocked on the door. When the door opened, it revealed his sister who wore the face of a shocked women that thought her brother was dead. "I forgot my keys," Derek said sheepishly with a grin on his face._

 _Amelia had punched him in the chest with has much force as possible, releasing all the pain she felt. The pain that was caused by losing the only family she had left all in the same week. When she grew tired of hitting her brother, she hugged him so tight Derek wasn't sure if she would break him or not._

 _Then he asked the question that Amelia had regretfully answered._

 _"_ _So where's Meredith? And the kids. No one would answer their phone."_

 _Amelia's look of shock changed to one of sorrow. "She's gone. After a week of not hearing from you, she just left. We don't know where the hell she went or if she's okay or anything. The only thing she left was a note that said she was safe, not to worry or something like that. Derek, none of us has heard a word from her. Not even a text or email. We all thought you were dead. So after the, now fake, funeral, she was gone."_

That was probably the worst day Derek Shepherd had ever lived through. His mission now was to find his family. Except Meredith was off the radar. No where to be found. Alex had called every hospital in the Boston area and not one trace of Meredith Grey came up, the great Ellis Grey did though. Everyone was growing frustrated of not knowing where she was or if she was okay. All they wanted to know was that she and the kids were alive and well. Derek had resorted to calling smaller hospitals that surrounded the Boston area because he knew that if Meredith didn't want to be found, she wouldn't had gone to a major hospital, or a hospital—small or big—in such a large city.

But still, after a month of searching, they kept coming up short. So short that not even a private investigator had been able to find anything. Her credit cards and bank account had remained silent, not one use had come up since the night of her disappearance. But that only worried Derek further. If she hadn't been using any money of hers, how was she and the kids living? Or even eating?


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for all the reviews.**

 **I literally had just started typing this when I got a text that my best friend was having her baby so I abandoned writing that day and went to be with her and meet my new little 'niece'.**

 **Also, happy (belated) holidays. I know where I'm going with Blindsided and Be with You, it's just that the words for this story just keep coming at me.**

 **I think what I'm going to do is go month by month with every other chapter. Even chapters will be in Seattle, the odd in Los Angeles until MerDer are back together.**

Thirty days. That is how long Meredith Grey has been in hiding just seventeen hours south of everyone she knew. Her phone was always going off with phone calls or texts. She figured they had reached out via email, so she hadn't even logged onto her account since before Derek went missing. Their persistence of talking to her was really just pissing her off. So much that she went out and bought a new phone with a completely different number that only those in California had. Her original phone however remained untouched and uncharged so that the battery would die out.

Addison had been a Godsend to her. In the days following her arrival in Los Angeles, Addison had helped her find a rental home near her own house, and got Meredith a position at Seaside Wellness. Not only did she help Meredith get set up in her new life, she kept to her word and kept a close eye on Meredith.

When Addison had given Meredith her first check-up for her third pregnancy, Meredith had told Addison about the difficulties she had during her previous pregnancies; miscarriage, hostile uterus, the c-section that resulted in her fourth near-death experience and all. At that point, the neonatal surgeon decided that she would help the younger woman get her baby into the world safely, no matter what it took.

Meredith Grey had been graciously welcomed into the office by the other doctors. She worked alongside Sam in general medicine. She worried at first about being the outcast, not knowing anyone, not knowing if Addison had told them back when she first arrived years ago who Meredith Grey was to her, unsure if she really made the right choice for her and her children. For the first week in LA, Meredith was sure that she had made the biggest mistake of her life by up and moving to California without a word to anyone.

By week two, she and Addison had formed an oddly close bond, and Bailey and Zola got along great with Henry. Meredith was beginning to feel comfortable in her new environment. And that was the week that her phone really started going off with text after text, call after call. It was maddening, really, which led to Meredith's resolution of getting a new phone.

Addison had helped Meredith get a house on the beach, just four down from her own. It was a decent price that Meredith was willing to pay to get out of that damn hotel room. When she had decided to leave Seattle, Meredith knew she would need cash, but she also knew that if they thought hard enough, they would find a way to track her down if she used any of her accounts, so she was thankful that she and Derek had started the 'rainy day' jar of money. No one else knew about it, and it was enough to buy tickets to LA. Living expenses, though came from accounts that she had set aside for the kids, or for dire emergencies.

Yes, she felt bad about taking the money from her kids, but she would have to just start doubling what she puts in each month. It's not like they would know anyway

The house that Addison had found for her was two stories with three bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms, a finished basement and garage. It was what Meredith called a steal. Not only was it a beautiful home, but it was right on the beach and Meredith only had to pay two thousand five hundred each month, which, in Meredith's opinion was a great price for one: being on the beach, two: the size of the house, and three: just the fact that there is a place so cheap to rent in Los Angeles.

One day, there was a pause in patients, and Meredith had more free time than she would have liked to have, so she decided to write Alex a letter.

 _Alex,_

 _I'm okay, the kids are okay. We are all safe and in touch with an old friend of mine. I know everyone has been trying to reach me, but I just want time to myself and the kids for a while. I'm saving you the trouble of digging further than you already have by letting you know that I have changed my number because the amount of times people from Seattle had tried to contact me was ridiculous. My email remains unopened since before Derek died. There isn't going to be a return address on the envelope because I do not need you or anyone else flying out to where I am before I'm ready for it._

 _Tell Amy she can stay in the house and that I'm sorry for leaving her without any family._

 _Tell Maggie I'm sorry for just up and leaving her._

 _Tell Richard and Bailey that the three of us are safe._

 _And remind yourself that you guys did nothing wrong, this was all on me. Alex, I didn't leave you forever. I will be back eventually. And…if you happen to go to Derek's grave at any time or even Amelia or Maggie…can you ask them to leave lavender flowers at the grave? If Derek's is watching, he'll understand._

 _You're my best friend, Alex. And I want you to know that everything you have ever done for me is greatly appreciated. And I love you._

 _Meredith._

It took her three weeks to send that letter, but when she finally did, she felt as if a weight was lifted off her shoulders. Meredith was satisfied in knowing that she could at least try to ease some of their worries by writing this one letter to Alex. But she decided then and there that the letter she was sending would be her last form of contact for a while. She definitely didn't need them to find her, not when she was just getting settled in Los Angeles.

 **Super weird chapter, IMO. It's a filler, that's for sure. I've just been so occupied with that cute little baby that I couldn't fully focus on writing for a few days. But I'm back.**


	4. 11 Weeks

**Happy New Year, everyone! When I wrote this, I was hungover from New Years Eve at a friend's party and haven't had any time to read it over, so I apologize for any mistakes.**

 **I also sat down and figured out how the chapters are going to go: since every two chapters is a month advance, I'm just going to combined what both of the chapters should be (AKA bigger chapters for my readers (: ) and with that said, I have up to chapter 13 outlined.**

Meredith Grey had been missing from Seattle for ten weeks, almost eleven. Not one word was heard from her since her departure. Alex so badly wanted to tell her that Derek was alive and well, but the woman refused to answer any phone calls or emails. Alex wasn't one to worry about someone much, but he was deeply worried about Meredith and her two kids. And he could tell that Derek was crawling out of his skin, what with not knowing absolutely anything about his family's whereabouts.

Although they had reached out to as many hospitals as possible in and around Boston, and used a private investigator—who came up with nothing—, Alex was determined to find Meredith and bring her back to Seattle. So determined that he dedicated his day off to call around other cities he could think of where Meredith would go.

That is how Alex ended up sitting at the kitchen table with a pad of paper and a pencil in front of him. He had written down hospitals in each city along with their phone numbers and once he called, and inevitably failed, he would cross one off and move onto the next. He knew how much of a long shot that it was; there was a very good chance that they would never see or even hear from Meredith ever again. If she made it this long without any contact, surely she could continue.

Cristina had been called early on in Meredith's disappearance to see if Meredith had made any contact with her. Or maybe, in the most minuscule idea that Meredith had joined Cristina in Switzerland.

With that thought, Alex decided to try her again, just to see if she heard anything. So, he put the task at hand on hold, picked up the phone that was next to the pad of paper and dialed Cristina's number.

It rang three times before there was an answer.

"Yang! It's Alex…"

On the other end of the phone, Cristina had a smirk on her face. "Evil Spawn…what can I do for you?"

"Have you heard anything from Mer lately? We still can find her. It's like she went of the freakin' grid. She's not in Boston, she's not near Boston, I've been calling other hospitals in bigger cities I could think of. She's nowhere."

Cristina's sigh was heard over the phone. Yeah, she hadn't been the best of a friend to Meredith since the previous year, but she had hoped that she would have received a call from Meredith asking her for advice. "No, I haven't. The last time I spoke to her was at Derek's fake funeral. Where have you tried again?" She asked, ready to give her opinion on where he should go next.

Cristina could hear Alex shuffling through paper before his answer came over the phone. "I tried all of Boston, Derek looked outside of Boston. Our private investigator found nothing, so I have been sitting here calling all over America trying to find her. There's New York, Maryland, Minnesota, Illinois, Pennsylvania. I've tried different cities in each of those states, especially the top notch well-known hospitals, and nothing. She's vanished. I had hope that she ran away and came to you, but apparently not," during his response, Alex had walked out to get the mail where he saw a little white envelope with handwriting he would know anywhere. "Look, I'll…uh call you back, later. I just got something in the mail and I'm pretty sure it's from Meredith," and without waiting for Cristina's response, Alex hung up the phone and raced into the house before ripping the envelope open.

He smiled when he knew it was her letter. But he frowned when he read that she wasn't going to tell him where she was. It was getting a bit ridiculous, her avoiding everyone. They just wanted to help. And she was out God knows where without any help from friends and family. Now he just had to figure out a way to bring this up to Derek.

Luckily for him, at that moment, Maggie walked into the house. Since Meredith's disappearance, Maggie had been spending at lot of her free time with Alex. She spotted the letter in Alex's hand and sat down next to him. Just by the look on his face, Maggie could tell that it was from her sister.

"I just got this in the mail. It's dated back to last month. Basically she said that she's fine; she and the kids are safe, oh and that she's not telling us where she is, she even got a new number for crying out loud! Who does that? Just up and leaves like that? That's not the new Meredith. New Meredith isn't a runner, that's old intern Meredith her drank tequila like it was water. New Meredith deals with the problem head on. It was supposed to be the two of us left here in Seattle. Not just me. We're supposed to stay together."

Maggie placed her hand on Alex's hand before responding. "I'm sure she just needs a little more time. I mean, she does think that her husband died. That's a good enough reason to go MIA. She'll call soon enough. Mer just needs a little time to think. Did she say she was never coming back?"

"No, but she never said when she's coming back, either. It's just that, Meredith was the first person to understand me. Everyone thought of me as the jackass, and I was, but somehow, even with that knowledge, Mer looked through that and understood me completely. No one else here knows me as well as she does…she's my… _person_ …" that saying sounded weird coming out of Alex's mouth because he had never felt comfortable saying it, or really understood what it meant. But since Meredith left, he knows. He knows how it feels to be without a person. "I have to figure out how to tell Derek. You think I'm bad? That man is going to be depressed after he reads this. She asked me to take lavender flowers to his grave if any of us went to it. Why lavender? Why such a random flower?"

"Meredith is a unique person, Alex. You know that; she does things her own way. Maybe lavenders symbolize something for them? Either way you don't have to do it, but telling Derek…want me to tell him?"

"Thanks, but I think I should do it myself. Will you tell Amelia when you see her?"

"Sure.

Alex had arrived at the house in the woods with a heavy sigh. He _really_ didn't want to do this. What he was about to tell Derek Shepherd would hurt the man more than he ever thought possible. Like normal, Alex walked into the house after his quick like two-knock move.

"I have to tell you something," Alex said once he saw Derek sitting in the living room.

"Me too…I don't think she's on the east coast. We've been looking in the wrong place. We need to stay on the west coast, or even central."

"Okay, that's great, but I've heard from her. And you're not going to be too happy about what she said."

Derek sat up straight as he watched Alex walk over to the other section of the couch that was in the living room. This was the most nerve wracking moment Derek has had in his life since Bailey was born.

"She sent me a letter. No return address. She said that she and the kids are safe; they're with an old friend…but she's got a new number and basically ditched the last one. She refuses to open her emails. Meredith said that she doesn't want anyone flying out to where she is. She uh…also told me to take lavender flowers to your grave if I ever went…and, most importantly, that she didn't leave forever."

"Lavender," Derek murmured as if that was all he heard from Alex's confession. _"It was a Thursday morning, you were wearing that ratty little Dartmouth T-shirt you look so good in, the one with the hole in the back of the neck. You'd just washed your hair and you smelled like some kind of... flower. I was running late for surgery. You said you were going to see me later, and you leaned to me, you put your hand on my chest and you kissed me. Soft. It was quick. Kind of like a habit. You know, like we'd do it everyday for the rest of our lives. And you went back to reading the newspaper and I went to work. That was the last time we kissed."_

 _"_ _Lavender. My hair smelled like lavender…from my conditioner."_

 _"_ _Lavender. Huh."_

"What's up with all the lavender? She said that if you were watching, that you would understand."

"Her hair, it always smelled like lavender. Back when she almost died that first time and I went to go see her, we were talking about the last time we kissed. How she couldn't remember, so I told her…one thing I said was her hair smelled like some kind of flower. And she told me it was her hair, from her conditioner. She never did change it, not that I know of, anyway."

"Huh…okay then. So leads? From this letter, she's with an old friend, and it's obviously a place far enough to warrant a plane ticket rather than drive. I called as many major hospitals I could, mainly on the east coast and nothing. You know of any of her old friends?"

"Just the one that you know about…Sadie. But Meredith hasn't talked to her since she pulled that stunt with the intern class."

"And we know she's not with Cristina, unless Cristina is hiding her, but I don't see Yang doing that. Especially with how rocky their friendship has been since last year."

"Back to square one then?" Derek asked as he was feeling slowly deflated, but swore to never give up trying. Meredith said it herself, she's not gone forever. She will be back. But how would she react to finding out that the whole time she had been gone her husband was in fact alive, and not dead in the ground like she had thought he was? Derek saw tequila in his future when Meredith finally returned home and finally found out the truth.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

In the eleven weeks she had been a widow, Meredith was slowly started a new routine. Now on week nine of living in Los Angeles, Meredith and the kids were getting well adjusted. Since it was spring, Meredith had to find a new school for Zola, which resulted in Zola making new friends, much to Meredith's relief. Bailey had taken a liking to Henry, which was understandable considering they were close in age, with Henry being just under a year older than Bailey. And Meredith, she had a smaller patient load that she did at Grey-Sloan, which was great for her with this new pregnancy since Addison told her that she wanted her to take it slow once she's further along into the pregnancy considering what happened the last time she was pregnant and working.

Almost every night Meredith found herself at Addison's, even if just for a little while to either pick up her little man or stay for dinner. Meredith would be lying if she said she wasn't genuinely surprised by how accepting Addison was. She had expected hostility when she arrived, but yet she was welcomed with support, a little sympathy, and kindness.

Of the six of them at the practice—besides Addison, Meredith grew close with Violet, due to their mutual loss of husband. Violet had helped Meredith through the anger she was feeling at the whole situation as well as advice on how to get along without Derek.

She never thought she would ever say it, but Meredith Grey was loving Los Angeles.

At just three months into her pregnancy, Addison wanted to do another check on the baby, so that is how Meredith found herself laying on the exam table as Addison set the ultrasound up.

"Morning sickness? Cramping? Bleeding? Anything you know isn't good for a pregnancy," Addison had finished up when she remembered that she was talking to another doctor.

"Just a little sickness, but it's slowly dying down. But seriously, Addison, if I had cramping or bleeding or anything else, I live right down the street from you, I'd be over your house in a flash full of panic and worry," Meredith joked. She was relieved that she felt at ease around the redhead as she thought she would feel nervous or uncomfortable around her, considering their past. Addison had helped Meredith decide if she should send a letter to someone in Seattle, and Meredith was glad that she did. "Do you think I did the right thing? Sending that letter to Alex. Or should I have sent it to someone else like Bailey? Or Richard?"

"I think you did the right thing. Alex won't sugar coat anything when he tells everyone about the letter, which you know he'll do because everyone is probably worried out of their minds about you. Alex knows you, you know Alex. He'll follow your instructions, even leaving flowers at Derek's grave."

"Yeah…he's a good guy like that. He really stepped up when Cristina left. That's how I knew he was my real best friend. I mean Cristina—she's a good best friend, but Alex is great because he let's me rant and talk without judging me, he actually tries to help me stay away from tequila sometimes, other times he gives me the damn bottle. He's a good guy…"

Addison looked at Meredith knowingly as she continued the ultrasound. "You miss them. And you miss Seattle. It's okay, Meredith, you can say it. You're allowed to miss them, and it. There's no rule against that."

Meredith sighed. "I do miss them. And even Seattle. But I'm loving it here. Less stress, less drama, no rumors going around about you and your marriage. It's great here. Even the kids love it."

The room was silent until Addison turned the doppler's sound on. When the thuds entered the room, Meredith smiled. "And that, Meredith Grey, is your baby's heartbeat. Now, you know what I'm going to say."

"Everything is okay. The baby is healthy; growing correctly and everything. Morning sickness should be over soon, and in the next few months you don't want me waddling around a hospital trying to perform surgery on patients," Meredith recited her own version of what Addison had been telling her since she began giving her exams. Addison smiled at Meredith as the two headed off in different directions, each going to their office.

The next day, Meredith had picked Zola up from school with Bailey holding her hand. Since it was a Friday, and Zola had a half day, Meredith decided to take her kids to the beach for the day. Ever since arriving in California and beginning work at the practice, Meredith had more time for her children than ever before and all three of them loved it. Never had Meredith thought she would have so much time for her children, and as she watched that play in the sand, she knew that she was nothing like Ellis; not in the smallest way, unlike how she thought she was going to be back when she and Derek first decided to start trying to have babies.

Now that she was doing it all on her own with two—almost three kids, Meredith took great relief in knowing that she was nothing like Ellis; that she was actually doing good at the mothering thing.

When she thought about her children, especially the one she was currently carrying, she realized that she had to tell Zola and Bailey—mainly Zola—about the new baby. Zola had been asking for a sister lately, so Meredith hoped her oldest took it in a positive way.

As it started getting later, Meredith grabbed Zola and Bailey and took them out to eat. She had decided to tell them during dinner about the new baby in hopes that they wouldn't throw a fit about it in public. But Meredith was ready for anything at that point.

In the middle of their dinner, Meredith grabbed the attention of both children. "Zola, Bailey…Mommy wanted to tell you something," Meredith started. It was so much easier the first time, a simple t-shirt and there, it was done. "In a couple of months, Mommy is going to have a baby."

Zola looked at Meredith confused. "But don't you need a daddy to have a baby, Mama?"

 **Okay, so I'm sorry that Meredith's part is so small, it'll be bigger next time, definitely a continuation of some sorts to the final line.**


	5. 15 Weeks

**So, I've been working a lot on Blindsided for multiple reasons. One being that it's my baby; Blindsided is the very first story I ever posted on FF and now it has over 80 reviews in over 15,000 reads. Secondly, I promised updates that I wasn't giving. But now it's time to work on both stories simultaneously.**

 **Chapter 13 of Blindsided was uploaded earlier but hasn't shown up as being updated, so I deleted it a few times and reuploaded. Not sure if it's there or not, but I did update.**

Four weeks ago, Meredith Grey had been asked the hardest question of her life; a question that trumps any med school exam, intern exam, or even your boards. She was asked by her young daughter how she was having a baby without a daddy. Meredith didn't know how to explain it then, and almost a month later and she still doesn't have the best answer for Zola.

At that moment in time, the only explanation she could think of was to tell her daughter that Derek wanted to make Meredith happy, so he gave her another baby from where he was up in Heaven. The four year old bought it, but Meredith still felt the guilt of having lied to her daughter. But she couldn't exactly tell the child about the birds and the bees, not at such a young age.

She felt guilty wondering why she even got pregnant when they weren't even trying when all those years ago she couldn't get pregnant because of her 'hostile' uterus. _Not so hostile anymore, is it?_ It's not that she didn't love the child that was currently residing in her womb, she did, she just couldn't understand why the events had to play it out in the odds that Meredith would become a single mother of three. She just didn't see the fairness of the situation.

Zola had questioned her about Derek that night, asking if he was coming back, why wouldn't he want to be there for the new baby when he was there when Bailey was born. Meredith had somehow satisfied her daughter with the answers provided, but yet four weeks later, and Meredith is thinking about Derek.

There's just this _feeling_ she has, and it's definitely not the unborn child she's carrying, no nausea or anything. It's something that can't really be explained. The best she could do to explain it was to say that her feeling was telling her that something just isn't right. Sitting with the same thought for four weeks finally made Meredith break down and talk to Addison about the feeling.

The office was quiet, Charlotte was working with at the hospital, Cooper was home with the kids, Sam and Naomi were out of town, Violet was in her office with a patient as well as Jake. Meredith and Addison were talking in the kitchen.

"I just don't know…it's like my body is telling me something is wrong, or something major is going to happen."

Addison nodded her head as she sat down at the counter. "Well is it a 'hand in body cavity' feeling or slightly better?"

Meredith squinted her eyes, wondering how the hell Addison knew about her feeling on that eventful day many moons ago. "Definitely better than that. Should I call someone from Seattle, or Cristina even? Make sure everyone is alright? Do you think that could be the feeling, that something happened to one of them?"

Addison shrugged. It was a good suggestion, and if it was a way to get Meredith to reach out to those she knew back home, Addison was all for it. She definitely didn't mind Meredith in LA, she loved it even. Of course it wasn't under the best of circumstances, but that's beside the point. Addison would stay by Meredith's side, help her get through this pregnancy as safely as possible, but she did want the younger woman to at least give her friends an update on her safety. "It sounds like a good idea."

Meredith nodded her head before leaving the kitchen. She was determined to get to the bottom of this feeling. She walked down the hall to her office and sat down at her desk. Meredith had to stretch a bit more than usual now that her child was finally making some sort of appearance. She had remembered something a patient had said before about calling someone from a blocked number, so she figured she would give it a try. She took a few deep breaths before dialing Alex's number.

After a few rings, she heard his voice fill the other end of the line. "It's Karev." She stayed silent, however she took a few more deep breaths. "Come on, I don't have all day here." Meredith could tell he was getting impatient with the silence.

A soft, "Alex," left her lips before she could stop herself.

"Mer? Where the hell are you? Do you know what we've been going through trying to find you? It's been months, Meredith, months!"

"Look, I'm just calling to see if everyone is alright. I am safe, the kids are safe. You don't need to know where I am; when I want you to know, you'll know. Just tell me if everyone is okay…alive and well…"

"Everyone is as well as they could be, but Mer, there's something I have to tell you—"

But before he could finish, the line was disconnected. Did she feel bad about it? Yes. Does she regret it? A little. But she couldn't risk hearing something that would have her going back to the place she left before she was ready to. Her feeling hadn't left, so she needed to make one last phone call. To a number she hadn't used in quite sometime. The last time she spoke to Cristina was at Derek's funeral. She didn't even say goodbye when she was on the next flight out after the funeral. That was kind of the breaking point of their friendship, in Meredith's eyes. Cristina was supposed to be her person, but she failed to be there when Meredith needed her the most. Alex hadn't, he had stepped up, took over Derek's role the best he could without trying to replace the neurosurgeon.

Meredith had finally ended the inner battle and dialed the long distance number—blocked, again.

"Doctor Yang."

"You're okay," Meredith said as her greeting while letting out a deep breath she hadn't known she had been holding.

"Meredith? Are you okay? Alex said you just up and left without saying goodbye or anything."

 _Same goes for you_ , Meredith thought. "I'm fine, the kids are fine. I just had one of those feelings so I was calling to see if you were alive, safe. So since you are, I have to get back to work," before Cristina couldn't speak, the call was ended.

Meredith often wondered how their relationship gotten so broken, until she remembered the day when Cristina practically told her that her having kids was a mistake. And the fact that Cristina stole her printer; her thunder. 3D printing was her idea, but Cristina ruined what she had been printing so she could use it for herself. The last year and a half had been chipping away their relationship piece by piece. Sure, Meredith missed the old days back when she and Cristina were practically joined at the hip; the twisted sisters, but if she had to choose between going back to be the same with Cristina or her family, Meredith would always choose her family, nothing could trump Zola, Bailey and her unborn child.

Alex had hung up his phone after the line had gone dead. He was ready to tell Meredith about Derek, but she had hung up before he had the chance. And he couldn't call back because the woman was smart enough to call him through a blocked number.

Walking back into his living room, he looked at the small crowd of people who had seemed to continue coming to the frat house for pizza and beer. "So she hung up before I could tell her anything. Said they were safe…she has a job, so that's good—we know that she's making an income to get them through. Wanted to know if we were safe because she had one of those feelings. Nothing too serious, just her curiosity."

Derek looked up at the man who just entered the room. "Did she sound okay? She wasn't just Meredith fine?" If he couldn't be with his family, or even know where the hell they were, the least he could do was know that they were truly safe, and not just Meredith's version of safe or fine.

Alex took his seat on the sofa again and looked at Derek. "She sounded really good. A little on edge maybe, but that's probably because of the 'feeling' or whatever it is that she has. But there's something she's not telling us. I could tell that there was something different by the way she was talking. I just cant think of what it could be."

Derek sat on the couch thinking of what he could do to find Meredith and the kids. He was beyond worried, and curious on how she was getting by without any trace of having a job. Derek was ready to start working fewer hours at the hospital in order to set up another investigation on finding his family. There had to be some way they could be found that Derek, nor all of their Seattle friends, had thought of.

She hadn't meant to, but Addison had overheard Meredith's conversation with Alex as she was on her way to her own office. And she now knew what she had to do.

She had wanted to do it for a while now, but out of loyalty to Meredith, she didn't. Addison went into her office and dialed a number she knew well.

"Amelia? It's Addison."


	6. 15 Weeks Pt 2

**The week has gotten away from me; I've been busy writing 3 papers, I had 3 tests in one day last week and I had to work on my mini-movie script.**

 **Also a thank you for all the reviews :)**

 **Continues where chapter 5 left off.**

 _Seattle_

Amelia had just gotten off the phone with Addison Montgomery. Though she hadn't spoken to the woman in a few months, Amelia was excited about the phone call. Until she actually answered the phone.

After a thirty minute phone call, Addison Montgomery had owned up to helping Meredith Grey hide out in Los Angeles since the apparent death of Derek Shepherd. Amelia didn't know what to make of the situation, in fact, she never expect to be the onto find Meredith out of everyone in Seattle looking for her.

Admittedly, Amelia had almost decided to give up, to let Meredith come back when she was ready. Turns out fate had other plans for Amelia Shepherd. Throughout the call, Amelia was inwardly questioning why she had to be the one Addison called; surely she knew Richard would like to know the whereabouts of Meredith.

But now, after the call, the only thing Amelia's questioning was how to gently tell her brother that his wife was in Los Angeles, befriending his ex-friend…being treated by his ex-wife. She was at a loss of what to do, and she didn't want to involve anyone else, not just yet—not until Derek knew.

Unfortunately for her, Amelia had been at Alex's house with Derek and Maggie when she received Addison's call. She had decided to go outside to take it so Derek wouldn't overhear her talking to Addison, even though he knew they were still close friends.

Amelia turned when she felt a presence joining her on the porch swing. Next to her was Derek. The last person she wanted with her at the moment, as she needed to figure out how to tell him.

Of course, being Amelia Shepherd, she had no filter.

"So, that was Addison on the phone," Amelia admitted. She was slowly building up the courage to confess to her brother where he wife was.

Noticing the tone in his little sister's voice, Derek put an arm around his sister. "Is everything okay?"

Amelia nodded her head a little before she gave a small smile. "Yeah, yeah… everything is great. Addie's good, Jake's good, their son is great. The practice is still running…there's just one little thing you should know." Amelia stopped and took a deep breath. "Meredith has been staying in Los Angeles. Addison's been helping her out with the kids, got her a job at the practice." Amelia was still unsure if she should tell Derek about Meredith's pregnancy. Knowing her brother, she decided to just let him know, to avoid later anger from keeping it a secret.

"Are they okay? I need to get to California," Derek said as he went to stand up.

Amelia grabbed his arm before he walked away. "Derek, wait. There's something else. Meredith…she's pregnant. Addison has been getting her through the pregnancy. Addie has been taking good care of them, I promise that much. So, now we get on a plane and head to California. You can see your wife and kids, and I can see my sister-in-law, niece, nephew, Addie and her family."

Derek stood there and stared at his sister. He couldn't believe that Amelia had just told him that Meredith was pregnant. She was pregnant and he hadn't been there for her. He needed to get to his wife, and get there immediately.

 _Los Angeles_

Addison hadn't told Meredith about her phone call. Honestly, she was too nervous to. Addison was both relieved and shocked when Amelia revealed that Derek was in fact alive. But she felt that she wasn't the right person to tell Meredith about her husband's status.

The two had a patient together that day, so Addison knew it would be hard to face the younger woman later. But she also had a feeling that Meredith wouldn't be in hiding much longer, if she knew Derek Shepherd as much as she likes to think she does.

Four hours later, Addison was sitting in her office going over a patient's chart when Amelia walked into her office

Meredith was walking out of the kitchen when she saw the doors of the elevator opening. Since no one was at the desk, she decided to wait and direct the patient to where they needed to go. However, it wasn't a patient getting off the elevator. It was Amelia and Derek.

Amelia stepped off first, Derek lingering in the back of the elevator. When she stepped off, Amelia first saw Meredith who was stopped in her tracks with wide eyes.

However, those wide soon began to water up as her mouth dropped open when Derek stepped off behind his sister.

Meredith Grey wasn't one to run, nor was she one to run up and hug someone, but in that moment, she forgot who Meredith Grey was and what she would do as she ran up to Derek and wrapped her arms around his neck.

A steady flow of tears were streaming down her face when he wrapped his arms around her small, but growing, frame. "What are you doing here?" She whispered into his ear.

"Came here for you," Derek said back as he held back the force of emotions that hit him.

Meredith sniffled as she held onto her husband tightly. "I thought you were…" she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence, and Derek seemed to understand where she was going.

"I'm right here. Not going anywhere," he reassured as he hugged her a little tighter, but mindful of the growing form that was between them.

While the two had their exchange, Amelia had went to Addison's office and spoke softly. "You made the right choice—calling me, telling me. It was the right choice. Whether Meredith sees it that way or not," Amelia reassured the red head.

Addison nodded as she smiled a little. Out of her office window, though the blinds were slightly drawn, she could see the reunion of the woman she had came to befriend and her ex-husband. "I know. I feel bad about going behind her back, but somehow I think she'll forgive me." Amelia nodded in agreement with her former sister-in-law before the two got to catching each other up on their lives.

Meredith was still holding onto Derek, never wanting to let go. "The kids are never going to understand life and death now," she managed to try and joke.

"We'll explain it when they're older," Derek said.

When Meredith had finally let go, she guided Derek to her office so they could talk. As they entered, Meredith locked the door and drew the blinds. There was so much that had to be said between the two.

Derek was the first to speak. "Why here? Alex and I have been looking everywhere on the east coast," he finished with a chuckle as he thought about how close she actually was.

"Since I'm so sure Addison told Amelia everything, I'm sure you know. The day I left, I had found out I was pregnant. And I couldn't be in that house, in Seattle being reminded of what we had, getting the sympathy looks foo everyone at work. I remembered that Addison had her own practice down here, and I wanted the best care for this baby since it was the last thing we did together."

"I am so sorry I put you through all of that," Derek said as he grabbed her hands in his.

Meredith shook her head. She really didn't want to relive those thoughts. "Let's just…move on from it, okay? We're okay. You're alive, you found me." Meredith was relieved when she saw Derek nod his head.

"So…do you like it here?"

Meredith smiled at him. "Actually, I do. I never thought I would be one to like living in California, but it's not too bad. The hours here give me more time with the kids, which they love—which I love. Being here has been good for us," Meredith said in a simplified way.

Derek could only remember seeing Meredith this happy a handful of times; their engagement, their post-it wedding, their actual wedding, meeting and adopting Zola, finding out about Bailey and the aftermath of his birth. And now, after talking about her brief experience in Los Angeles.

He felt like he had to make up for last year, so he proposed his latest idea to Meredith. "What if we lived here. For good. Keep the house in the woods for visits?" He saw Meredith's eyes light up when he made the suggestion, and if he was being honest, he wouldn't mind a change in scenery, either.

"I would love it. You really want to?"

"I do. Like you said, more time with the kids. And with each other."

Later that afternoon after Meredith finished with her patients, Meredith had arrived at her house with Derek in tow. The kids were inside with the nanny, and Meredith was fairly sure they would no doubt go running for Derek.

Meredith turned the key in the lock and entered the house. Derek walked in behind her and saw his children playing in the living room. They looked up when Meredith entered the room, but because of where Derek was standing, they couldn't see him.

Meredith bent down so she was eye level with her kids. "Mommy has a surprise for you two." Zola immediately perked up hearing the word surprise and looked at her mother. Bailey was standing next to his sister with a smile on his face. Meredith motioned for Derek to walk in, and when his two children saw him, they both ran over to their father and hugged him tighter than Meredith had earlier that day. From where she was standing, Meredith heard Zola faintly whisper "I miss you" to Derek, to which Derek kissed his daughter and hugged his children tighter.

 **I wanted to end this where they agreed to stay in LA, but I wanted to add the kids in before the next chapter which will be 4 weeks later.**


	7. 19 Weeks

**Thank you for all the reviews :)**

 **A long explanation of my absence has been posted on the recent chapter (chapter 4) of Anything for You. But I'm working on updates for the three stories in progress, and attempting to create a storyline for the one shot (When You're Gone) that I posted.**

 _19 Weeks_

Four weeks ago, Addison Montgomery had spilled everything she knew about Meredith's whereabouts to Amelia Shepherd. It had also been four weeks since Derek had been reunited with his wife and kids, and also found out about his unborn child.

Surprisingly, Meredith wasn't mad or upset with Addison for giving her away; rather she was thankful. Not only thankful that Addison had told Amelia where she was, but also thankful that Derek was alive and would be able to watch their kids grow up, and meet their newest child.

In those four weeks, Derek had finished moving down to Los Angeles and was hired at the practice since they hadn't had any neurosurgeons since Amelia had left almost two years ago. It was a little difficult at first, his transition. He wasn't used to being his own boss, running his own department, but he soon eased into it. The kids—and Meredith— had rarely left his side, something that he didn't mind at all.

Upon his return, Meredith and Derek had a difficult time explaining to the kids that Derek was staying with them. Meredith had a harder time explaining to Zola about how her daddy was back since Zola had posed the question of how Meredith was having a baby without a daddy.

Though Derek was there now, Meredith still had fears of complications with the pregnancy, so Addison was still her doctor.

It was a Sunday; the practice was empty, so Addison decided to do a quick check up on Meredith. For the first time, Derek would be able to see his unborn son or daughter. Meredith was excited at the fact that Derek would be with her at the appointment where they could possibly find out the gender of the baby. Zola had been asking her from the beginning for a sister, and if she was being honest, she wouldn't mind having another daughter either. She loves Bailey and all, but she'd like to be able to change a diaper without fear of being peed on.

When Addison had first turned on the doppler, the sounds of small thumps sounded throughout the room. Derek's eyes were tearing up while Meredith just smiled. She loved hearing the sound—it meant that her unborn child was still alive. As the wand moved around, the parents-to-be saw the movements of the baby on the screen and were mesmerized.

Soon enough, Addison had reached the end of the baby and the couple were able to see that they would soon be welcoming a daughter into the world. Derek and squeezed Meredith's shoulder while she smiled back up at him.

Any other work that day did not get done as Meredith and Derek left after the appointment to get home to the kids. When they reached the house and entered through the front door, the house was silent. Derek looked up and Meredith confused. Normally the kids would be playing in the living room and the nanny watching over them, or even playing on the floor with them.

Meredith shook her head slightly, knowing that her one, or both, of her kids had talked the nanny into taking them to the beach or the park. She decided to check out the back door first before she called the nanny's cellphone. When she looked through the glass door, she smiled.

"They're out here," Meredith said to Derek who had just come down the stairs after looking upstairs for his kids.

Out on the beach, Bailey sat in the sand in swim trunks and a light tee shirt. There was an umbrella stuck in the sand that the nanny insisted the kids sit under when it was extremely hot out. Zola was in her bathing suit that she insisted she had to wear whenever they went off into the sand while she sat next to Bailey, slightly in the sun, building mounds of sand that would soon try to be a sand castle. The nanny sat under the umbrella as well, so to not tease the kids of being out in the sun.

Meredith smiled at the sight. She didn't want her children being raised by nannies, but if it was just one nanny, and only when they needed her to work, she could deal with that. As she was sliding the door open, Zola looked up, dropped her bucket and shovel and ran up to her parents, and almost into the house. Meredith, however, had stopped her before she could enter the house.

"Remember what we said about going in the house after playing in the sand?" Meredith asked.

"Gots to clean it all off or else we're cleaning the floor," Zola said with a smile. Meredith nodded, Derek smiled. Bailey had noticed that his sister had left, turned to see where she was, and ran up to join her in greeting their parents.

When the nanny had been relieved for the day, and the kids were sand-free, Meredith and Derek had decided to take Zola and Bailey out for ice cream after dinner—something that sent excitement off in Zola and Bailey.

The kids rushed through dinner, eating most of their food, but not all in order to leave room for ice cream. When they had finished, Derek cleaned up the mess from dinner while Meredith got the kids ready to go.

"Mommy and Daddy have some very exciting news for you two when we get there," Meredith told them as they were getting ready to leave.

In the past view weeks, the kids had been insistent on finding out if they were having a brother or sister. Meredith laughed at their persistence each time, while Derek tried to explain that they had to wait a little while longer. They were sure that Bailey wouldn't quite understand, but they were going to give it a shot anyway, and hope that no temper tantrums were thrown when the words 'baby sister' popped up.

At the ice cream parlor, Meredith grabbed a table while Derek took the kids to get their custom ice cream, as well as his and Meredith's order. When they finally sat down, the kids started eating their dessert fast. Zola had stopped eating for a moment before looking up at her parents.

"What'd you wanna tell us, Mama?"

"Well, today we found out that you're going to have a baby sister," Derek said with a smile. Meredith and decided to let Derek tell the kids since she had been the one to tell them that there was going to be a new baby in the house in a few months.

Zola and Bailey smiled in excitement, Bailey just following his sister's actions. Derek looked at Meredith and whispered in her ear.

"Poor kid doesn't know what's about to happen to him."

Meredith laughed at her husband's words and patted his leg. "Maybe next time—should there be a next time."


End file.
